I was going to write a really positive post, because life is going really well at the moment with me and Ian... I'll still write about it, but this time I find a caveat.
We have just been so great over these past few days, like yesterday he said he loved me during sex... it was unwarranted, it was unneeded, I didn't do anything special yet he still said it anyway, because (or at least I hope) purely because he meant it. It's moments like those that just give me butterflies and I couldn't stop smiling. It made me feel amazing. And there's just generally been happiness, I feel so good about life with him and I'm starting to think of a future together again, and not just getting from one day to the next.
And then I find a receipt on the floor so I pick it up, it's from a coffee shop for a coffee and a hot chocolate on the 19th, when I was at work all day... Now it could be for a whole myriad of people; it could be for Den, or Tabs, or anyone... But he didn't tell me about it, he didn't say "Oh I met up with so-and-so today" which just makes the mind wonder just that little bit more, because I don't care who he meets up with for the most part (perhaps Eva Green I might be a little on edge for), but it's the not telling, and finding out through a receipt just really cuts me to my core. I now have a million and one questions racing around my head and I want to burst into tears, but he's lying asleep in the next room to get up at any minute.
I can't say anything because everything has been so great that I don't want to ruin it, but there's only so much biting of my tongue I can do...
