I suppose eating disorders are really up in the air at the moment; HFC coming in leaps and bounds, creating this presentation for the OT students, people struggling generally, a swarm of media articles shoving it in our faces... Is it really any wonder I'm feeling a bit fragile?
All the same, it has made me think, and I was talking to S today during the presentation and it has truly made me realise how far I've come; granted at times I don't see it as a good thing, but I have... I am no longer the girl that would puke in plastic bags and hide them in her wardrobe, nor the girl who would prefer to hide plain toast in her boots than eat it, the girl that would spit out food in her napkin and feed it to the dogs and purge in fields. I am a completely different person who is for the most part healthy and happy. I know no longer have this secret controlling my every, living, breathing thought... I am me. I am not the anorexic, the one my parents worry about.
Through all of my research for this presentation, and through personal interest as well, I've been reading about Karen Carpenter and it does make me think, she died due to anorexia... She had such talent and beauty, most of which people could only dream of, and her life was robbed by this illness. I definitely don't want to be like that, so yeah sometimes I idealise what it's like to be ill, and think that I miss it, but once put in perspective, I do realise that in fact I really don't want to be ill again.
