I've spent the past two nights crying, and I don't know what is wrong with me... I just don't feel like my normal self at all and instead I'm replaced with this purely miserable wretch of a creature, last night nothing excited me; the thought of grey's anatomy, reading, facebook, nothing... I just wanted to lie staring into space. Nothing bad has even really happened for me to feel like this.

I mean, it doesn't help that my self esteem is shot to pieces, especially with being ill so that the one thing that keeps our relationship going I can't even provide, and it's one of the age old things, of when your sex life starts to try up in a relationship, you know it's not going well... I don't know, I suppose I'm just worried that he's getting put off by me, doesn't find me attractive anymore etc. etc. Who knows...? I just really really don't want him to cheat on me, or become attracted to somebody else, or anything like that. I know we've had our problems, but I lied on bed a couple of notes crying because I do love him, and I don't want him to do anything, and I want things to work out for the best.