I was talking to A last night as she drove me home, and we talked about boyfriend's as we're in similar positions - newly living together etc. and it really got me thinking, as I talked with pride and a massive smile on my face about Ian and how goddamn in love I am. I know that's stupidly soppy and disgusting, but I really am... I just feel like we're back to the old Sophie and Ian; I mean we've never been one of those disgusting PDA couples, or anything like that, but I don't know, I just smile at the thought of him again. Yes we've had some really rough times, but I really hope that we're coming out of it to be truly happy again. I spent the whole of last night at work missing him, and it felt really weird sleeping alone last night (even though I do it every time he's on a night shift).
It's also noticeable how much calmer I am recently, whereas beforehand I would feel upset, or pissed off, or any other form of emotion, now I feel like I have the emotional reserves to brush it off and carry on without it affecting me. I don't know. Maybe I'm thinking about things too much, but this is truly how I feel at the moment and I really don't want anything to burst my happiness bubble. Yes I'm still worrying about him and B, but again I feel like I can deal with it better, rationalise things, and convince myself that yes he does love me.
