I keep going over and over it in my head; shall I talk to him or not? I'm in completely in two minds about it; I've forgiven him for it, or at least I've forgiven him for the act of flirting with the intention to cheat (sounds a crime hahaha!), but there is still the part of me that wants to know exactly what happened; did he actually cheat, why did he even contemplate it with her? Was it something I did wrong? I mean it went on over a period of months so it's not as if it was a one off thing that he just didn't think about it - it was pre-meditated.
Part of me wants to confront him so I can ask all of those questions, find out what happened... We are now at a stage in our relationship where things are reasonably serious again, and I want us to move to Reepham and start a fresh, none of the nastiness of the past year coming with us. Happy together. Therefore, I feel like I need closure on this. But... If I confront him, what happens if he goes beserk and dumps me? The logical part of me would say "well, surely that's an indication of the man you don't want to be with", but, I'm not that strong, I love him, and I don't want to lose him, and therefore for the sake of me wanting 'closure', it's not worth the hassle attached to it. But will it always be a barrier to our happiness because I'll never know? I really don't know...
The silly thing is, is that I've known about it for ages, and I had laid it to rest, but now it's rearing it's ugly head again; I do think it's because we're becoming happy again and I want things to be perfect... But what if he thinks I'm just doing it to cause trouble, because I want an argument (like with the whole Eva locker thing). I don't know. I mean that is not my intentions at all, but he's not exactly the most rationale person when he's upset.
